Juicing Forum

Currently I am an overweight Polarbear who has lost herself somewhere on this path of life. I am not sure just what it was that led me to my love of food. Comfort,family gatherings,stress, disappointments, failures? I think I came into the world loveing food. I can remember being on a "diet" in third grade. I can say with a strong roar that "diets" do not work! I have been on everyone ever invented and some that are making a second comeback. I even went so far as to have my mouth wired shut when I was in High School. Sure I lost the weight, but then I started to notice that I was getting the "flu" almost every two weeks. The weight of course did not stay off long maybe 1 year, but collage put on the freshmen 20 plus. From there it was more dieting, more gaining, lose, gain lose gain. I'm sure you know what I mean. Later in life when I would go to the Dr's they would tell me things like, your liver enzymes are hight but we do not know why. Then the night itching started, still I would go to the Drs. and get the "we cant find anything wrong, your just fat, lose weight!" Fast forward to having to have my gallbaldder out, and being told that I have something called NASH, and it had been undiagnosed for so many years that you now have Cirrhosis! At first I was afraid, but of course, being the person that burys things, eventually that fear went away too. Today, I now weigh 390 pounds, I cannot walk to the bathroom with out getting winded, my knees are shots and I am pretty close to becoming one of those news stories about the person that needed to be cut out of their house to take them to the hospital. The little bit of the old me that is left in me, somewhere buried in this massive amount of years of self abuse, doesn't want that. I want to succeed at this, I am scared that I will fail. Maybe I am scared that I will succeed and I will sabatoge myself. Who knows? Will I give it my super Polarbear Taurus stubborness I can do anything Power. I hope so. I hope that I have some of that left in me buried deep inside. As they say, if it is to be it is up to me!
I start Monday, June 14